Signs of a Damaging Relationship

No one wants to end up in a damaging relationship, but it can be difficult to recognize if we’re a part of one or not. I myself have been there, and I didn’t even realize what my life had become until I was free again. If your relationship has any of these signs, you might want to consider packing your bags:

1.) Your partner puts you down. Even slight putdowns and backhanded compliments can build up over time, and not only are they hurtful, they’re downright psychotic. Under no circumstance should you be with someone that makes you feel stupid or insignificant. No matter what you have done, your partner should be there to build you up, not tear you down.

2.) You feel the need to hide things from your partner. If you came out of the supermarket, found a scratch on your car door and instantly thought about how you can cover this up before your significant other sees it, that’s not healthy behavior. Things happen, and wallowing in constant fear of how they may react to any given situation is a horrible, horrible way to live.

3.) They try to change you. You don’t want someone that will try and change you but someone that loves you for who you are. Of course this tends to be a gray line. If you are severely overweight and smoke three packs a day and your partner is asking you to live a healthier lifestyle, that’s one thing. If your boyfriend or girlfriend asks you to “do something with your hair” every time you leave the house to avoid their own embarrassment, that’s quite another.

4.) There’s a lack of trust. Trust is one of the foundations of a healthy, caring relationship, and if your significant other is constantly second guessing your loyalty, you might have a problem. Someone that constantly calls to “check up on you”, has jealous fits or accuses you of lying is not someone who loves you; it’s someone who wants to control you.

5.) You’re not equals. It doesn’t matter who makes more money or who works more hours, if you’re feeling trapped because you aren’t able to make your own decisions, it’s a sign of trouble. No one should have power over another in a relationship; you should both be equals and have an equal say in the issues you come across.

6.) You keep their actions a secret. If you don’t tell your friends what your partner says or does behind closed doors, chances are it’s not healthy. Everyone fights, and everyone says things they don’t mean at one point or another, but we all know what we are able to share and what we aren’t. Even if you did tell someone and immediately had to defend them by saying something like, “But he’s really not a bad guy…” guess what: he really is a bad guy. Pack your bags.

And don’t forget; for dorm safety items (like pepper spraysafes and personal alarms), check out our store at www.secureoncampus.com, and for dorm decorations (like dorm lightingfun drinking games, and wall decals) check out our store at www.thegoodlifeoncampus.com!

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5 Cheap Ways to Increase Your Home’s Security

Everyone wants to live in a safe and secure environment, but let’s be honest, everyone does not have extra thousand dollars lying around in order to equip ourselves with a decent home security system. Plus, take away the fact that many of us aren’t allowed to have a dog in our current dwelling and we might literally feel a little exposed. Never fear though, we’ve put together a few ways to keep your home safe when you don’t have a fortune to spend.

1.) Have a roommate. Whether you live with a friend or a significant other, the more people you live with the less likely a criminal is willing to risk breaking into your house. When you are the only resident, all they have to do is follow one schedule. When you’re not home the whole place is up for grabs, but when you have a roommate, that’s a whole other person they have to keep track of. In addition, when you go out of town there’s a good chance your home will still be occupied.

2.) Fake a pet. Landlord won’t let you keep a dog in your house? A burglar doesn’t know that. Even a simple “Beware of Dog” sign on your front gate will be enough to deter the majority of home burglars. The best “fake it” story I ever heard was a mother that accidently broke the lock on her daughter’s front door, so while the house had to spend a few days unlocked before it could get fixed, the mother left a sign on the door that read:

Susan –

I accidently let your snakes out. I had to go to work but I’ll come by later to look for them.

Sorry,

-Mom

3.)  Ask the neighbors to help out. If you’re going to be gone for a weekend, ask a neighbor if they wouldn’t mind parking their car in your driveway for a couple nights. Have them stop by and get the mail for a few days as well. Nothing says “no one has been home in days” like a steadily growing stack of mail in your entryway.

4.) Set your timers. It’s fairly easy to set a timer to a few lights or your television within your home. They only cost roughly $15 and you can plug your television or lamps into them. Having flickering lights and sounds in your home will make it seem less obvious that it’s actually completely empty.

5.) Get a cheap alarmThe typical burglar is not some kind of professional, but actually a male teen living in your neighborhood. In addition, most burglars want to spend no more than 60 seconds breaking into your home. If it takes longer than that, they’ll move on to an easy target. So one of the best deterrents isn’t a fancy home security system, but a simple, loud alarm. You can a simple door alarm up at the store for about $20.

And don’t forget; for dorm safety items (like pepper spraysafes and personal alarms), check out our store at www.secureoncampus.com, and for dorm decorations (like dorm lightingfun drinking games, and wall decals) check out our store at www.thegoodlifeoncampus.com!

4 Things No One Tells You About Living Alone

Ah, the dream of living alone. It’s pretty amazing really; whether you’ve just bought your first home or you’re still a struggling college who’s just plain sick of having roommates, living alone can seem like the ultimate dream for all of those who still have housemates to deal with. However, before you get all excited about the prospect of getting to walk around naked whenever you want to, we thought it would be necessary to let you in on a few living alone secrets.

1.) You will notice anything that goes ‘bump’ in the night. Unlike the feeling of rough security you get when you have roommates, you will find yourself developing a healthy sense of paranoia when you live alone. After all, roommates gave you a free excuse for every sound that you heard at 2:00 in the morning. Maybe your friend just got home from a night at the bar. Maybe they invited another friend over. Maybe they are sleep walking again, and the list goes on. But when you’re alone, everything changes. That little thump you hear now sounds eerily similar to someone wearing the exact kind of boots that serial killer wore in that three hour documentary you watched before going to bed.

2.) You find your inner MacGyver Living alone is expensive. If something breaks, there’s no one else to split the cost with you, and having to pay for every single little thing that goes wrong means you tend to develop a very special set of skills. For whatever it is you need to buy that you don’t have the money for, you can make a contraption that makes everything (temporarily) okay. Garbage disposal not working? You’ve got a mini rake taped to a broom handle. No lock on your bedroom door? You’ve got a string nailed to the wall that wraps around your doorknob.

3.) You can go a bit crazy if you’re not careful. A famous comedian once said that living alone is dangerous because you begin doing everything you’ve always wanted to do and there’s no one around to let you know when things start getting weird. If you want to stay up until three in the morning organizing your fruits and vegetables in alphabetical order, there’s no one there to stop you.

4.) You discover more about yourself. When you lived with a bunch of other people, choosing a bathroom trashcan meant just going down to the store, picking up whatever was cheapest and probably wouldn’t show stains, bringing it home and throwing it in the bathroom. Maybe you took the tag off it, maybe not. But now, whatever you use to decorate your home is a direct reflection of you and only you. You can’t blame the nasty drapes on your roommate. They’re yours. Therefore, you’ll find you start to develop your sense of style faster when you have a place all to yourself.

And don’t forget; for dorm safety items (like pepper spraysafes and personal alarms), check out our store at www.secureoncampus.com, and for dorm decorations (like dorm lightingfun drinking games, and wall decals) check out our store at www.thegoodlifeoncampus.com!

Questions to Ask Your Landlord Before You Move In

Your landlord can be quite an intimidating presence, and they can either provide a pleasant living experience or make your life a living hell. However, they are still human (most of the time), so there are plenty of things that could probably be smoothed over will a little good communication. In fact, here is a list of questions you should never be afraid of asking:

1.) Can I pay less rent? Rents are not typically negotiable, but other things often are. If your landlord isn’t willing to lower your monthly rent, ask about other things. Many times they legally can’t lower your rent (that’s set by different housing laws) but they are able to waive additional expenses. If you have a pet ask about forgoing the pet charges, or if you have an upfront parking space but ride the bus, offer to give up your parking space to have one of your utilities covered.

2.) Are there any health concerns? This should cover everything from lead-based paint to asbestos to mold. In a perfect world your apartment would have none of these concerns, but old apartments have old apartment problems, so you’ll want to cover your bases. And even if they say everything is golden, you’ll want to get an inspection notice confirming everything is, in fact, golden.

3.) Why did the last tenants move out? If they were arrested and evicted for drug issues, you’re going to have countless strangers stopping by in the first few months unaware that their dealer is in the slammer. Plus, not only will it give you a general idea of what condition the apartment might really be in, but it will give you an idea of what your landlord is like. If they were evicted for one noise complaint, you might want to move on to the next place.

4.) Can I make improvements? Landlords are extremely busy, with many of them often managing a number of residences. If you want to make some improvements, like repaint the god awful bathroom or start a garden in the backyard, ask! Many landlords will cover the cost of the supplies and might even give you a discount on your rent that month if you are improving the place.

5.) Do all the appliances work? And by work, we mean properly functions in the highest possible way. There are little things more frustrating than an appliance that just barely works, and you don’t want to find out sometime next week that your refrigerator only really works part of the time or that the heater works but only up to 62 degrees. Ask your landlord about all the cooking appliances, the dishwasher and garbage disposal (if there is one), the heating and cooling systems and the water pressure.

And don’t forget; for dorm safety items (like pepper spraysafes and personal alarms), check out our store at www.secureoncampus.com, and for dorm decorations (like dorm lightingfun drinking games, and wall decals) check out our store at www.thegoodlifeoncampus.com!